Nine Months
by demilymoore
Summary: Derek and Emily have to deal with an issue that will either tear them apart or make them stronger; all based on whether they can keep up the fight and and survive the bumps along the way. (One shot or multi chaptered story)


**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal or any of its characters – if I did, Emily and Derek would've gotten together years ago.**

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To fall in love with a co-worker had never been a part of his life plan, it hadn't even crossed his mind – simply because co-workers were off limits and because he had never thought of any of the females in his team in a romantic way – at least not until Emily had joined the team.

Of course, from the beginning he had thought that she was way out of league for him; a girl like her would never be interested in a guy like Derek Morgan; a typical womanizer who was no way near ready to change his ways; get serious and settle down. But it had happened – just like Reid had predicted in that one conversation on the jet flying home from a case so many years ago; _Women can sense when men are changing, it's only when you're ready though_. That was what he had said, without knowing back then how right he actually would have.

Because eventually Derek had changed, without even realizing it himself – he had changed from the player who would pick up a different girl to sleep with every weekend; to a guy who were more focused on work and spent more and more time with the one and only Emily Prentiss – on and off the clock. They had worked well together from the minute Emily had walked into the roundtable room almost five years ago; it had been the beginning of the best partnership Derek had ever had. It was like they connected with each other without even realizing it themselves; of course there had been moments were they had obviously bonded with one another; their infamous conversation about Kurt Vonnegut were one of them, along with dozens of others were they had just connected and bonded over the little things. In fact they were so synchronized that they didn't even need words to communicate; they could tell it all by one glance or one touch; without speaking a single word. Even from the beginning Emily had understood him in a way no other person ever had; not his mother or his sisters, not even Garcia – his best friend – understood him on the same level Emily did – sometimes Derek thought that she understood him better than he understood himself.

Maybe that way the case, maybe that was the reason why Emily had known when he had been ready to try to have a serious relationship – because even though both of them had been scared of ruining their friendship and mess up the partnership they shared – Emily had been the one who had taken the first step; making him realize that maybe, just maybe he wasn't out of her league anyway – maybe he had a chance to prove that he was better than the reputation he had. Maybe their mutual understanding and trust for each other was why they had shifted so easily from being friends to being lovers; to eventually go from two people who had struggled with trusting others enough to open up their hearts and breaking down their emotional walls to become two people who trusted and loved each other more than anything in the world.

All those big and little things were probably the reasons why Derek hadn't doubted a bit when he – after two years of being together – had gotten down on one knee and asked Emily to marry him and spend the rest of their lives together. It also most likely had a fact in why he had been more happy than terrified when Emily – almost three years ago – had told him that she was pregnant. Emily had been the reason why he had managed to stay calm when she had gotten into labor. Emily was the one who had comforted him when he had worried about dropping their beautiful daughter the first time he held her, because she was so tiny – she had convinced him that he was going to be a great dad and that things would be hard at first, but after time it would get easier.

She was also the one who had assured him that they would get through anything as long as they worked it together; that no matter how scary or complicated things might be, they would always find a way out; even in the hardest and darkest times.

All things they had been through together, from being partners to being married, to being parents had made them able to read each other like open books; maybe that was why Emily had understood that something was troubling him before he even did himself, maybe that was why she had realized that he had a problem before he did.

The conversation was still clearly in Derek's mind, it all had started on that night two weeks ago;

 _He had just gotten home from a case in New York. It had been late, way past Grace's bed time, usually he would head straight up to the nursery – whenever he came home at time when he knew for sure that she would be sleeping – but not this time; now he headed straight to the bar cabinet in the living room, pouring himself a glass of scotch. In his mind he deserved a drink after a long case, and one or two drinks wasn't that bad – at least that was what he told himself – until Emily appeared behind him. She leaned against the doorway; observing him. At first he didn't notice that she was there, not until he had finished his second glass and was about to turn around to walk up to check on Grace._

 _"_ _Hey" he said in a slightly raspy voice. Catching her standing there had caught him off guard. Emily just looked at him with a concerned look in her eyes, before she turned around without saying a word. He looked after her until she disappeared out of view; listened how she moved up the staircase and how she carefully walked towards their bedroom on the second floor. He had knew the look in her eyes, even though he had never seen it before – at least not while she had been looking at him – it had been the look of disappointment._

Thinking back, Derek knew that somewhere deep down, he had realized what it was that had disappointed Emily that night – he just hadn't been ready to admit it yet – but he had been forced to the next morning, when Emily had brought the subject up after breakfast; _Emily had just put away the dishes in the dishwasher and Grace had finished her breakfast and was now content on her play mat on the floor – when Derek came down stairs and walked into the kitchen._

 _"_ _We need to talk" Emily said as she turned around and looked at him._

 _"_ _Okay" Derek answered and walked towards the coffeemaker, pouring himself a cup before he sat down at the kitchen table. Emily sat down on the opposite side of the table, so she was facing him. He then noticed the bottles on the side of the table; empty liquor bottles to be specific – or three of them were empty while the last one still was half filled. He raised his eyebrows and looked back at Emily, who were looking at him with the same kind of look in her eyes that she had had the night before._

 _"_ _You've a problem Derek and I just can't ignore it anymore." she said quietly._

 _"_ _Em… You don't think you're overreacting? It was just two glasses of scotch…" Derek began._

 _"_ _I'm not only referring to last night Derek." she looked up at him before continuing: "I mean the last couple of months, ever since that case in Atlanta, you've been drinking every time after you've come home from a case."_

 _"_ _I… It's just a few glasses to calm down and relax Emily. You know how bad cases can be, what heinous things we see every time." Derek tried to explain, but the truth was that he didn't even know himself what he was supposed to explain, or if he should fell offended or not._

 _"_ _Yeah I know. But you know that you can't solve that with alcohol, it doesn't make the images go away and you've been taking a glass before even checking on our daughter – you usually always do that when you have been away." Emily's voice was steady, but not mad or judgmental, just torn._

 _"_ _So what, you're saying that I'm an alcoholic?" Derek snapped._

 _"_ _No. I'm saying that you have a problem Derek, a problem that can evolve into alcoholism, if we don't get it under control before it's too late." Emily answered calmly._

 _"_ _I'm not having problems Emily, it's just a few drinks here and there to handle the job." he defended himself._

 _"_ _Yeah? Then tell me what you did last Saturday." Emily snapped._

 _"_ _I went out with the guys for our regular night out, that's nothing new."_

 _"_ _No it isn't, but what happened later is." she answered, Derek looked confused. He had gone out with Reid, Rossi and Hotch like they used to once a month, just the guys to have a night out – nothing bad, just some drinks at the bar or some poker at Rossi's house._

 _"_ _You don't remember, don't you?" It was a question, but Emily already knew the answer._

 _"_ _You got so drunk that Reid had to call me to come and get you in the middle of the night. You were so drunk that you didn't even remember what had happened the morning after. Reid even asked me if you were okay, they all did." she finished. Derek just stared down at the table – he knew that she was right; he hadn't remembered a thing the day after._

 _"_ _You don't want Gracie to grow up in that kind of environment, do you? You know how alcoholic homes can affect children and what it can lead to." Emily continued quietly._

 _"_ _Of course not, do you think I would hurt our daughter like that?" Derek replied in a broken voice._

 _"_ _Then this should be an easy agreement Derek…"_

 _"_ _Agreement on what?" he asked. Emily looked at him. "To do something before this goes too far…. I've already talked to Hotch."_

 _Derek frowned. "What did you tell him?"_

 _"_ _The truth, he's going to fix the paperwork. You're off work from next week and I've called a rehabilitation home that has a twelve step program that starts in two weeks… There is one spot left and it's yours if you want it."_

 _Derek closed his eyes for a minute; letting her words sink in, trying to wrap his mind around her statement. He opened his eyes, looking at Emily; she was breathtaking, even without makeup and just in the messy morning outfit – and he loved her more than anyone, how could he believe that she would tell him anything but the truth?_

 _"_ _I don't really have a choice do I?" Derek said. Emily bit her lip and looked him in the eyes, before answering._

 _"_ _I'm not going to force you; it has to be your own choice, Derek. If you don't want a change, there's nothing a can do about it. However I do believe that you need help to sort out whatever it is that is causing you to have these drinking habits, because I know that it's not just work that is weighing you down. There is something else too, I don't know what, but I know that it's breaking you and that you're trying to make it go away with drinking, but it won't. And I don't want it to tear you or our family apart, because we need you. I need you"_

* * *

Derek could still hear Emily's words ringing in his eyes, like she was whispering them in his ear in the moment. He shook his head and looked down at the brochure in his hands; _West Virginia's Rehabilitation home for all troubles and causes_ he read.

He heard a knock on the door and looked up; Emily was standing in the doorway.

"I just wanted to say goodbye." she said and took a few steps forward, towards Derek were he sat on the single bed. He stood up and carefully pulled her into his arms, she immediately embraced him, by locking her arms around his warm body. Soon Derek hears a sniveling sound and feels how his t-shirt is getting wet from her tears.

"Hey, don't cry." he said, placing a finger under Emily's chin, guiding her to look at him.

"It's okay. You did the right thing, I'm not mad." he says softly, because he knows that Emily only wants what's best for them, for their marriage – for their daughter.

"You sure? Because I feel like some kind of monster, accusing you of…" she whispers.

"I'm sure, you did what's right for our family, Em and I admire you even more for that. No matter how hard it is for me to accept my problems, I know you only have good intentions."

Emily nodded slowly, drying her tears with her sleeve.

"I love you, Derek, more than anything." she says, looking him in the eyes.

"I love you too, Emily. Always, nothing can change that." Derek says and leans down to capture his lips with hers. They stand there, kissing in the middle of the room until a ringing sound is being hear – the signal that it's time for all visitors to leave the building. Derek gives Emily one last kiss, before he slowly lets her out of his embrace.

"I think you have to go." he says, giving her a shy smile; but his voice reveals his real emotions. Emily takes a step away from him, taking in his eyes and his whole body language; she knows how hard this is for him.

"Ok." she says and turns towards the door, if she doesn't walk away now, she will start crying again.

"I love you Em, take care of your baby girl while I'm gone, okay? And don't blame yourself for this, because it was my actions that caused all this, not you." Derek says. Emily looks at him.

"I will and I love you too, Derek and we'll see each other in a couple of weeks, ok?"

He nods and watches her walk out of the room, leaving him all alone – he sinks down on the bed, resting his head in his hands. It's taking all his willpower not to break down in tears – this is by far one of the worst things that has ever happened in his life and he knows that it's all his fault – but he also knows that it isn't the end, he will get through this; he will get back to Emily and their daughter. He has no other choice, because losing them is not an option – they are his life, his breath and his heart – his everything.

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In my head this is supposed to be a multi chaptered story, but since we all know that I absolutely suck at continue them, I might just leave this as it is already... unless I, in some magical way gets the energy and motivation to actually continue it.

Leave a comment or review and tell me what you think? :)


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